Like
stepping into my own house
for the ten thousandth time
and noticing for the first
that the walls are eggshell
not white.
I awaken into my life
notice simple things I never saw before
then
wonder how did I sleep through so much
and how does one acquire
an insomniac's touch
Because I don't know
which door closed
that would inspire both friends and family to
become foes
A new pang
my hearts changed
now that every eye I meet has suddenly gone strange
Feels like
My Hero was conceived but died in the womb
a Villain was received and built His throne on the tomb
demanding I believe that I should bend at knee
defile my temple in an effort to please
I turned to that with which most I love
costing me flesh, costing blood
I needed support, kept coming up hollow
The advice that I got was to flee or to follow
That's when I saw that woman hung from a tree
a ghostly apparition who kept haunting my dreams
she said "The opinions you seek won't make you a man,
it's whether you lie or whether you'll stand."
The hills glow gold against the press of the night
Sentries guard sleeping soldiers from the fringes of the firelight
One last rest before we clash for the cause
I hold the lower ground and gather strength for their charge
My breath seems relaxed, making mist in the air
But all that I am is at stake and I'm scared
Till the hills silhouette, Doubt's army clears the rise
Focus shrinks down to the need to survive
(The battle is represented musically.)
Cut my way through the elephant grass
A somber sun illuminates my path
And I am he of the single discipline and toil
Whose blood births mud as it hits the soil
Now it's two score and no slumber comes
In the distance I can still hear battle drums
While throughout the fields my good deeds lie
Rotting, fetid and drawing flies
Right here is where momentum likes to slow down
But this is just the beginning of the throw down
When the night sky shares the shade of my mood
Hope punctures like stars through the pall of the gloom
I can feel the weight lift with the insistence of a slow jam
Exposing new layers, new plans
Tectonic plates move beneath my chest
Quake shaking the fear, the stress